Thursday, October 4, 2007

BLAH BLAH BLAH

Have you ever wished that you could go to sleep and wake up like a month later? Well I am so wishing I could do that. This week being my first week on meds has been dragging by. I thought once the injections started that time would fly but it feels like its on standstill. Work is so slow and boring right now that being in the office for 7hrs feels like 18. I hate feeling this way, bored, restless, helpless, tired, irritable, and did I say BORED!!!! DH has been working his ass off lately, works 10hrs a day at his regular job and has picked up 2 cleaning accounts for our business at night, so he is not home until around 1:30am and then gets back up at 5:30am and back off he goes. Honestly I dont know how he does it, but he just keeps saying that we need the extra money especially if we end up preggers. I keep thinking yeah and if we dont then what? all that extra work and exhaustion for nothing, is it worth it? I have these mixed emotions right now that just snuck up on me, like maybe IVF wont even work, then what? we have no plan beyond that. Also what if we do get our BFP and then that puts even more strain on us, financially, personally, and what If I dont know what to do with a baby 24hrs a day?LOL What if I cant stand to hear a crying baby all night, Can we say GUILT. That is what I will feel if we have a baby after all this time and I cant even stand to be around them. Anyways enough ramblings for the night, I'll be back later.

1 comment:

AwkwardMoments said...

UGh.............. the draining emotional trainride ..Thank you for always being so super supportive. It REALLY helps me in more ways that i can express